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Children & Divorce

Effects of Divorce on Children

Monday, 21 March 2016

Effects of Divorce on Children

There is no book or secret recipe that can predict how your children will respond to you and your partner separating.  Every child is different and deals with their emotions in their own way.  School-age children understand that divorce means their mom and dad are not going to live together anymore.  Most of them have friends whose parents are divorced and may have heard phrases such as "I'm going to my dad's house this weekend."   However, the first thing that comes to most children's mind when they hear the word divorce is "What about me?" 

When considering the effects of divorce on children, remember that kids will be anxious about things like moving or changing schools.  Younger kids will worry about the logistics of their toys.  How will they still get to play with them all?  What about the pets?  They'll have many detailed questions for you, such as if you still love their mom or dad, and first and foremost, if you still love them.  You need to be prepared with comforting answers, and most importantly, you need to reassure them that are loved and will be cared for, no matter what.

shared parenting

Many children show signs of regression and insecurity, both at home and at school.  Some effects of divorce on children include mood shifts, causing children to become angry, depressed, mischievous, clingy, or uncooperative.  During this difficult time, your children will require additional attention and affection.  The most amicable divorces can still create an earth-shattering change for any child, and kids find change to be very scary, especially one dealing with something as fundamental as their parents.  They rely on routines, normalcy.  Some will be openly sad or mad at you, while others may act like they don't care.

However, don’t get discouraged.  School-age kids can be surprisingly resilient and malleable. How you explain the divorce to them will make a significant difference in how they can cope with it.  Make sure you speak to them before, during, and after it happens.  Remember that these are typical effects of divorce on children and what they need most from you right now is patience, reassurance, and consistency in the everyday routines they know. While this time will be difficult for you, remember that your children will be hurting as well. Be their rock, and in return, they may end up being the same to you.

Your children will be deeply affected by this change. Make sure you stay in tune with their needs and give them the love they will need. And if you need assistance in setting up your Child Visitation, contact the professionals at Marrison Family Law.

 

 

There is no book or secret recipe that can predict how your children will respond to you and your partner separating.  Every child is different and deals with their emotions in their own way.  School-age children understand that divorce means their mom and dad are not going to live together anymore.  Most of them have friends whose parents are divorced and may have heard phrases such as "I'm going to my dad's house this weekend."   However, the first thing that comes to most children's mind when they hear the word divorce is "What about me?" 

 

When considering the effects of divorce on children, remember that kids will be anxious about things like moving or changing schools.  Younger kids will worry about the logistics of their toys.  How will they still get to play with them all?  What about the pets?  They'll have many detailed questions for you, such as if you still love their mom or dad, and first and foremost, if you still love them.  You need to be prepared with comforting answers, and most importantly, you need to reassure them that are loved and will be cared for, no matter what.

 

Many children show signs of regression and insecurity, both at home and at school.  Some effects of divorce on children include mood shifts, causing children to become angry, depressed, mischievous, clingy, or uncooperative.  During this difficult time, your children will require additional attention and affection.  The most amicable divorces can still create an earth-shattering change for any child, and kids find change to be very scary, especially one dealing with something as fundamental as their parents.  They rely on routines, normalcy.  Some will be openly sad or mad at you, while others may act like they don't care.

 

However, don’t get discouraged.  School-age kids can be surprisingly resilient and malleable. How you explain the divorce to them will make a significant difference in how they can cope with it.  Make sure you speak to them before, during, and after it happens.  Remember that these are typical effects of divorce on children and what they need most from you right now is patience, reassurance, and consistency in the everyday routines they know. While this time will be difficult for you, remember that your children will be hurting as well. Be their rock, and in return, they may end up being the same to you.

 

Your children will be deeply affected by this change. Make sure you stay in tune with their needs and give them the love they will need. And if you need assistance in setting up your Child Visitation, contact the professionals at Marrison Family Law.

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How to Tell Children About Divorce

Thursday, 10 March 2016

How to Tell Children About Divorce

Deciding to file for divorce is challenging; letting your children know is an entirely different kind of difficult. You want to be kind but firm, compassionate yet resilient. Read the tips below to learn some important information when talking to your kids about divorce.

Choose your timing.  Do not start talking to your kids until you know for sure that you are separating.  The uncertainty of hearing "Mom and dad are thinking about getting divorced" will create unnecessary stress for both you and your children.  Although there is never an "ideal" time, there are definitely bad times to deliver the news. When planning how to tell your children about divorce, avoid difficult or rushed times such as right before you head off to work and have no time to answer questions, school days, just before bed, or just before your child goes into their soccer practice.  You need to pick a time where both you and your partner can sit down together and either answer the questions that will come or dry the tears and be there for them.  

Telling your child together is highly recommended.  Regardless of your differences, try to agree on what you are going to tell your kids for their own sake.  Don't confuse them with contradicting stories.  By acting as a team when you when deciding how to tell your children about divorce, you will preserve your children's sense of trust in both of you. 

Keep it simple.  Use age appropriate terms.  When talking to your kids about divorce, limit the initial explanation to no more than a few key sentences.  Try deciding how the visitation days will work and where you will live before you speak to your children so that they are comforted by the fact that you two are handling this and have it figured out.  Most children will want to know that they will still see both parents and there is a plan in place, a new routine to come.  If your child has witnessed you two fighting, acknowledge that fact and explain that you're doing what's best for them and the family. 

Most importantly when planning how to tell your children about divorce is to reassure them that your separation is not their fault.  Children often blame themselves for the breakup.  They may think the change is happening because they didn't listen well enough, didn't clean their room, or didn't do well in school.  Comfort them by saying that divorce is an adult decision and is never a child's fault. Avoid the blame game.  Blaming your spouse for the divorce and arguing in front of your child will only make them feel as though they need to pick a side.  Your children look up to both of you; keep it that way by respecting each other.


While nothing you will be looking forward to, by being clear and respectful while talking to your kids about divorce, you can save future headaches and potentially become closer with your children. And if you need assistance with child custody, contact our Child Custody Lawyers today.

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When flashpoint issues that can pit one parent against another during a divorce or post-dissolution matter come up, there are few more explosive topics than educating the children. And when homeschooling is mentioned, the entire room, just for one minute, may even go quiet.

At its best, homeschooling can offer parents a focused and dedicated opportunity to allow children to thrive, grow and learn outside of a public school environment. Done wrong, homeschooling can lead to children who don’t get enough opportunities to interact with other children, spend too much time in front of computers, and may be taught by a parent who often means well but doesn’t have the tools to do it right.

Either way, the best way to confront the issue of how courts in Colorado address homeschooling is information, and probably a long conversation with a qualified family law attorney.

Read 1988 times

Everyone understands that kids soak up everything, particularly when their parents are splitting up. 

They’re like little emotional sponges, picking up the subtle changes in their parents’ feelings, their discomforts and concerns about the coming separation that can linger in a house during the process. That's why it is important to help your children through your divorce in the best way possible.

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As many attorneys will attest, the conflicting interests of a divorcing couple don’t always provide for the best interests of their child. However, in the eyes of Colorado law, the best interests of the child are paramount, which means they are more important than the needs of either parent.  It is at this point that one or both parents realize - their child also needs a legal representative known as guardian ad litem.  A Colorado Springs family lawyer can represent your child, or you help you find an attorney who specializes in advocating for children.

Read 3765 times

As a Colorado Springs divorce lawyer, I often see clients who are intent on getting the best deal for in their divorce agreement, regardless of how it affects the rest of their family.  I often attribute this to what I call “divorce anxiety”, a condition that changes normal, fully functioning people into vicious, selfish and vindictive would-be litigators with an eye on the prize. 

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One of the unfortunate outcomes of a divorce is the impact it can have on a child’s emotional bonds within their nuclear family.  Colorado couples are often so preoccupied with the divorce itself, that they are unaware of how important it is to structure adequate parenting time for their children.

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A divorce mediator is a neutral third party that helps divorcing couples reach a fair and mutually acceptable agreement with regard to the sharing of the responsibilities of bringing up their child. This article explains the reason for mediation as well as how the process works.

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As a divorce lawyer, a question I am frequently asked by clients is whether or not their ex-spouse is required to contribute towards their children's education now that the couple is divorced?  Most often these clients were divorced when the children were very young and college expenses were simply not contemplated until it was actually time to pay the tuition bill.  Unfortunately, many of these divorced clients wait until the day the bill is due to consult a lawyer, but especially if the client plans a little bit in advance, it is likely that the ex-spouse will be required to contribute if certain criteria can be satisfied.

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MPatMarrisonFor over a quarter century, we have helped people during what is often the darkest time in their lives. Divorce is not easy even under the best of circumstances. For most people, family is central. Having something go wrong in the family can have a ripple effect that extends beyond the home and into other areas.

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