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Ask any Colorado Springs divorced individual with children what is the most complicated part of divorce, and their answer will probably have something to do with the children.  Whether the issue is with visitation, enforcing rules across two different households, dealing with their child’s emotional distress, or the simple exhaustion of becoming a single parent; divorce issues continue to unfold for many years after the final papers are signed.  For this reason, it is very important to include as much detail as possible in a parenting plan and custody agreement. 

As a Colorado Springs child custody lawyer, I see a lot of couples spend countless hours hashing out a custody agreement in mediation or in court.  What they don’t always realize is that even after a parenting plan is in place and the divorce is final, they both have to play a role in “raising” the children.  What usually happens is both parents start out with the best intentions to stay involved with every detail of their children’s lives; following the parenting plan to the letter. 

But after a few years, the primary caretaker (usually the mother) takes on a much larger share of responsibility than the non-custodial parent.  They may even begin to resent the free-spirited lifestyle of their ex, who just “stops by” and gets to be the fun parent.  This can result in a strained relationship and a lack of communication between parents, which will hamper future efforts to make joint decisions on behalf of their children. 

So what are parents to do to prevent this from happening?  The best solution is known as “co-parenting”, and while it takes a lot of work it will help instill a spirit of cooperation between parents.  Not only will this alleviate the stress of single parenting, it will also benefit the children to see their parents work together.  Children from divorced homes need to feel supported and loved by both of their parents.  Co-parenting gives them a sense of stability and security, even in the midst of a divorce, and they learn valuable life skills by watching their parents cooperate. 

The ability to co-parent successfully starts with a solid parenting plan.  The more specific the plan is, the better it will keep the Colorado Springs family functioning after a divorce.  Co-parenting also means being flexible when necessary and willing to make a change in the parenting plan instead of being difficult.  There is a lot to be learned about co-parenting, and making a plan is only the beginning.  Parents must continue to improve their parenting skills and learn to cope with the complicated issues that often arise in a divorce situation.  An experienced Colorado Springs child custody lawyer can help you draft a parenting plan that will address every issue. 

Patricia Marrison is a Family Law attorney in Colorado Springs, CO. and the owner of the Marrison Family Law LLC, Colorado Springs largest Family Law practice.  The Marrison Family Law LLC is devoted to assisting with the difficulties of the breakup of relationships, be it common law marriage, a non-marriage with children, or dissolution with or without children. We attempt to serve the entire spectrum of relationships, from those couples with the simplest, uncontested dissolution to the highly conflicted relationship involving allegations of domestic violence and abuse.