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Let’s face it.  Divorce is ugly; not just for the Colorado Springs couple going through it, but for their children, extended family, friends and even their co-workers.  Knowing this, many couples opt to remain in a perpetual state of denial, or relationship “limbo.”  Separation agreements are pounded out, even custody and child support, but for many couples, this is where it ends. 

As a Colorado Springs divorce lawyer, I’ve seen a trend emerging that is well-intended, but ultimately not such a good idea.  It’s called “delayed divorce” (not be confused with “trial separation”).  A delayed divorce is when a couple chooses separation instead of divorce for various reasons, most of them economic. 

Most of my fellow Colorado Springs divorce lawyers were already aware of this trend, but it became even more evident earlier this month, when a New York Times article was published about the phenomena (See Pamela Paul’s article “The un-divorced: Some instead permanently separate”, August 1, 2010).  According to the article, some couples have intentionally chosen a permanent separation, even if it lasts for decades, in order to avoid the ugly battles and “maintain the status quo” financially.  Others stay legally married for the sake of their kids, or to avoid the tax penalties, health care issues, and inevitable division of pensions and other marital assets.

During a recession, it may even make financial sense to avoid selling off undervalued real estate that is divided in a property settlement, and it could even sound palatable to maintain a friendship and co-parenting relationship with your estranged spouse.  But in my professional opinion, a “delayed divorce” for these reasons is ill-advised. 

Some long-term separations actually cause long-term financial problems and delayed emotional upheavals within families.  When a couple isn’t divorced, yet their lives are still intertwined financially, one spouse usually ends up regretting it. What happens if one party wins the lottery?  It becomes community property.  Or perhaps one goes on a spending spree and then loses his or her job, leaving the other with bad credit and massive debt.

No matter how ugly divorce gets, there is nothing worse than staying married to someone who does not have your best interests at heart.  Don’t let a six month separation go on for years; call a Colorado Springs divorce lawyer for a free consultation. 

Patricia Marrison is a Family Law attorney in Colorado Springs, CO. and the owner of the Marrison Family Law LLC, Colorado Springs largest Family Law practice.  The Marrison Family Law LLC is devoted to assisting with the difficulties of the breakup of relationships, be it common law marriage, a non-marriage with children, or dissolution with or without children. We attempt to serve the entire spectrum of relationships, from those couples with the simplest, uncontested dissolution to the highly conflicted relationship involving allegations of domestic abuse.