When you first begin considering divorce, it’s easy to think the whole process is about support, custody and division of assets. As a seasoned Colorado Springs divorce attorney, you can trust me when I say that there is much more to divorce than sorting out the legal details of ending a relationship.
We have often seen our Colorado Springs family law clients caught off guard because they fail to actually think about how they will handle the emotional fallout that comes from a changing family landscape, angry in-laws, and damaged relationships.
Financial and legal issues may be somewhat predictable; and if not a Colorado family lawyer can help make sense of them. However, your feelings at the end of a relationship won’t be so clear-cut as you negotiate the emotional end to a marriage. The overpowering emotions that come up in a divorce usually linger long after the final divorce decree arrives in your mailbox.
As a Colorado Springs divorce lawyer, it is interesting to watch the various stages that individuals go through when they file for divorce. Depending on the length of the marriage and the amount of emotional upheaval, the "newly separated" are known for doing some unbelievably stupid things. Divorce attorneys often see the fallout from these missteps, which often result in a very bitter and angry divorce.
It's funny how many stereotypes exist about single parents. The news media and entertainment industries would have you believe that single parents, particularly single moms, are always struggling, bitter, stressed and looking for a spouse to come rescue them. While some aspects of this perception are rooted in reality, there are plenty of single parents who do quite well. Sometimes all it takes is a realistic budgeting strategy and a disciplined approach to money.
It's always amazing to see how quickly divorced people forget the pain they endured and jump right into a second marriage. Perhaps it's the loneliness of singlehood, or the pressure from society to find someone new. Some say that after several years of marriage they feel "uniquely qualified" to tie the knot a second time. Not so fast!
If you plan to remarry after a divorce you should expect to hear many invasive-sounding questions about your fiancés family background, his or her ex-spouse and current financial status. Friends and family won't be able to resist telling you that divorce is more common in second marriages. And worse yet they will tell you not to even consider marrying someone too similar to your first spouse.
Most women imagine their life will change in certain ways after a divorce, but it may be a slightly romanticized version of reality. Single parent. Full-time employee. Blissfully free to explore hobbies and relationships every other weekend. Other than that, they tend to believe life will go on in much the same manner as before. Not so fast.
There is no doubt that divorce can be a life-altering experience for anyone, but couples with young children deal with another set of challenges. With all the financial upheaval, how does a stay-at-home mom manage to stay at home after the divorce? In most cases, she can't. One of the biggest misunderstandings among women, who file for divorce, is that they will be able to maintain the same lifestyle afterward. Unless the family is very wealthy, the chances are better that she will be entering the work force.
This may sounds like a controversial topic, but it's one that was recently presented in an article in the Huffington Post "Divorce" section. In "Women: Five Reasons Your Divorce Is Your Fault," best-selling author Laura Doyle ("Six Lessons for Lasting Love") explains that women are the ones with the power to make their relationships intimate. In fact, when she teaches intimacy skills she only teaches them to women because she knows that when a women learns these skills her relationship becomes peaceful and intimate in just a couple of weeks. Does this sound too good to be true? Believe it. Doyle's clients often say they feel like they have a new husband. But too often, women don't learn about what they could have done until it's too late to save their marriage.
It seems like someone who has been through a divorce would be extremely careful about entering a new relationship, but people tend to forget all the mistakes they made in the past. Perhaps it's the resilience of the human spirit, or maybe it's the desire to find happiness after a particularly difficult split; but men and women tend to jump back into the dating pool without checking the depth of the water.
Whether you've already started dating again or you're about to take the plunge, there's a pretty good chance you will exhibit one of the three most common dating behaviors. But if your goal is to move on from your marriage and find the right partner, these dating dangers should be avoided.
You may have come to the conclusion that your marriage is beyond repair, and you are finally taking that first step toward a divorce. While a divorce might seem like the most logical step, by the time most women get around to it they have already made some costly mistakes. If there is one thing I've learned as a divorce lawyer in Colorado Springs, it is the importance of protecting your financial future in a divorce. The best Colorado divorce attorneys advise their clients to seek out the most financially expedient ways to get out of their marriage without compromising on the divorce settlement.
When people go through a divorce, and the wounds of a failed marriage are still fresh, it's easy to assume that they would try to choose a more suitable partner in a second marriage. But unfortunately, people are creatures of habit and they still have a tendency to attract the same personality type again and again.